


Catfishing the Hacker

by NotASmoothOperator



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Humor, Asses Everywhere, Break Up, Catfish - Freeform, Eridan Is An Ass Too, F/M, False Identity, First Love, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Growing Up, Hacking, Heavy Angst, Humanstuck, Identity Reveal, Kinda, Loneliness, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Online Dating, Online Romance, POV Alternating, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Sollux Being an Ass, Teen Angst, Underage - Freeform, Underage Drinking, implied - Freeform, second love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 15:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotASmoothOperator/pseuds/NotASmoothOperator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan's life hits an all time low when his love since sixth grade, Feferi Peixes, breaks up with him. Now, as an eighteen year-old who never really grew up, Eridan surrounds himself in bad relationships of others to stop focusing on his own shitty life. But seeing as Eridan is the biggest drama queen... He's got to screw up someone else's love life, too. In the easiest way provided, the Internet.<br/>Bring in Sollux Captor, douchelord of the Intergoogles, a loner who decides to mess with some poor soul over a dating site.<br/>It's Catfishx2 up in here.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction: Let's Create a Few Breaks and Hope for Mistakes

The bitter wind of mid fall wrapped itself around two figures walking at an easy pace downtown. The smell of caramel apples and pies lofting from shop windows did nothing to settle the air between the pair. They appeared to be a couple to others, and they were, but that could be changed within a matter of minutes.

An eighteen year-old entwined his hand with his girlfriend’s, but it didn’t feel right; natural. Maybe it was due to the fake plastered smile she wore. Or possibly due to her nervous habit of curling her bubblegum hair around her fingers before tugging at it was there at full force. The biggest red light for the boy was probably that she wasn’t wearing the seahorse clip in her hair he’d given her long ago…

_“Eri! Eri!” A giggly sixth grader skipped her way around her friend, “what’s wrong, Eri-?! Your face is really red!” The girl poked at his flushed cheeks._

_“N-nothing, Fef!” He swatted at her finger._

_“Aw! Now don’t be so glub!” She giggled and went ahead to pinch his cheeks anyway._

_“It’s just-“_

The boy held the dinner’s door open for the pensive girl. She walked ahead, no silly remark on the boy’s manors. He sighed, letting the door swing close behind him as he pushed himself to follow. Settling at the table, the boy was already aware of the situation by now and was dreading every single moment to come.

_“Yes?!” She pushed her face close to his own._

_“Here!” He flung his arm out in front of him._

_“Oh-?” She picked up the gift from his shaking hand and squealed._

_“It’s a seahorse!” She cried and hugged it._

_“W-well you hide your face with your bangs but I like your face so I thought-oof!” The exuberant girl flung herself into the boy’s chest._

_“You’re too sweet, Eri…” The boy wrapped his arms around her in silence._

_“Promise me something, Fef…?”_

“I…” The artificial pink haired girl stumbled on her words, leaving the wary boy across from her to sigh.

_“Sure, Eri!” She looked up into his stormy eyes._

“It’s not me right-? It’s you-?” The boy lent forward on the table to run his hands through his black and purple hair.

_“W-we’ll alw-ways be together…” He mumbled into her shoulder._

A light and breathy sigh left the girl’s fuchsia lips, “Yes…” She closed her eyes in wait for her recent ex to blow up. A creak of a dinner chair and the sound of clothing whisking by her left the girl in shock.

“Eridan-“

“No, it’s fine, Fef.” Eridan turned toward her, as he pushed the door open.

“Oh come on, at least let me-“

“No.” Eridan stopped her stubbornly, holding his hands up before throwing them down and rushing from the dinner.

_“Always, Eri…”_

At the bus stop’s bench, Eridan let his held in tears go, he wasn’t expecting an early bus in the slightest. The sound of the bus however, had Eridan scrubbing his fresh tears away. Rushing, Eridan held his head high and began to mount the bus. Eridan dug in his pocket for the fare; however a hand around his wrist stopped him.

“I know a fresh break when I see one. Don’t worry about paying; it’s on me, man.” A harsh voice trying to be gentle rumbled out. Eridan looked up to the see the driver shaking his head. The driver wore what he assumed was a sympathetic face, but with the pointed shades covering his eyes and scraggly blonde hair he looked to be fighting a hangover instead.

“Thanks…” He whimpered out. The driver scratched the back of his head, uncomfortable.

“Take the seat behind me, I’ll let you bitch and moan all you want about how stupid it was.” The crudeness of the driver didn’t take much away from the kindness of the offer, so Eridan sat himself down on the seat suggested. Leaning his arms on his knees to hold his head partially up, Eridan let out a strangled puff of air that was meant to be a laugh.

“It was pretty stupid, though.” The driver barked out a laugh,

“Tell me about it. Aren’t they all?!” Eridan let out a small smile,

“I suppose so…” The driver let out a small hum, encouraging Eridan on. “W-well, I had to finish her own breakup…”

“No shit-?” The driver exclaimed before whistling and shaking his head. Eridan stared at the driver in the mirror.

“No shit…” Eridan lowered his stinging eyes to his polished dress shoes. The driver awkwardly cleared his throat.

“I actually went through a breakup ‘bout a week ago…” This piped Eridan’s interest once more,

“Oh?”

“Yeah… We’d been goin’ steady for ‘bout a year, but he decided-“

“He?” Eridan blurted out only to slap a hand over his mouth.

“Heh, don’t fret, kid, but yeah, he. Anyways, he decided that there was so much more that he wanted to do with his life rather than stick to the city life he had with me.”

“That… that’s pretty harsh.” Eridan’s heart felt heavier by the second.

“Uh, yeah I guess, but he did leave something that’s helped me through it all.” The driver rubbed the back of his head.

“And w-what w-would that be?” Eridan quirked an eyebrow.

“His little cousin.” The driver smirked and Eridan let out a laugh. “Yeah, that adorkable little shit has turned my life completely upside down…” Eridan smiled slowly before becoming curious.

“W-wait, so how did you get over him so easily?”

“I didn’t really…” When Eridan didn’t respond, the driver took that as his cue to continue. “Well it was only the day after he’d broken up with me…”

_A hesitant knock on the apartment door awoke a heartbroken, Ben and Jerry’s covered, blonde from his slumber on the couch. “Dave!” He called out, not wanting to leave his colony of empty ice cream tubs. It took about a minute for it to kick in that the little bastard had moved out some days ago and for the hesitant knocks becoming more rapid for the blonde to force himself the ten feet to the door._

_Throwing the door open with aggravated force, the person behind the door flinched. The blonde’s heart stopped before realizing it wasn’t who he thought it was._

_“John?”_

_“Yeah, hah, I just thought I should check up on you since…” John shuffled his feet awkwardly standing in the hot and cramped apartment hallway. The blonde creaked the door open and stepped back; a silent invitation. As soon as John had eased the door shut and followed the blonde back to the couch, he encased the depressed blonde in his arms._

_“John.”_

_“Shoosh, I just thought you might want to hold HIM for a second.” John replied, resting his forehead on the blonde’s shoulder. The blonde clutched onto John, forgetting himself in the look-a-like of his ex._

_“Jake…” The blonde let pass through his lips in a light whimper. John swallowed hard and clung tighter to the crying of the two. The next thing John knew was being pulled into a resting position over the tired, heartbroken blonde. John quietly allowed it and rubbed slow circles into his back._

_“Dirk…” John mumbled sadly, watching as the reserved man broke in front of him. Dirk woke up to a mop of curly black hair lit up by the setting sun from the cracks in the shades of the apartment window. Forgetting his heartbreak, Dirk rolled onto his side, bringing the sleeping of the two with him. Face-to-face, Dirk’s sleepy eyes closed as he lent in to press a light kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. In the midst of his light kiss, Dirk froze, this wasn’t his boyfriend, heck, he didn’t even have one anymore! Dirk jerked back watched John crack his eyes open in a petrified silence._

_‘Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…’_

_“Dirk, it’s fine.” John mumbled, rubbing his bright blue eyes. Dirk merely continued staring until a hand lightly papped his face. “Now move on over so I can fix you something to eat.” A slowly eaten meal of insta-ramen and game of who sleeps where later found John wearing a pair of Dirk’s My Little Pony pjs and a serious expression as he stared down Dirk._

_“How about I make a proposition…” John began, leaning forward onto his knees to get face-to-face with Dirk. Dirk raised an eyebrow. “I can pretend to be Jake for you and in return you can give me a place to stay since that fuck-up left me to pay an insane rent…?” With how John had his head cocked to the side and his big blue eyes holding onto Dirk’s solemn orange ones, it was hard to turn down..._

“If you don’t mind me voicing my thoughts…” Eridan said slowly.

“What is it, bro?” The driver hummed.

“Don’t you think this John w-would feel used and fed up by now-w?”

“I know…” The driver sighed out, “I feel like a molester in a way, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean I’m providing a place for him to live for the moment, but even there I’m also profiting because ever since my lil’ bro, Dave moved out, I’ve been lonely as hell… Fuck man.” Eridan pursed his lips before offering out,

“W-well I might be able to help, you know-w, as someone to talk and offer advice…” Eridan finished as the bus creaked to Eridan’s stop. The driver turned around to face Eridan,

“That’d be appreciated, bro.” He turned around to grab something from a console. “Here. Feel free to go ahead and hit me up for a session, help me with my shit, or if you just need somebody to split the fucking booze with.” The driver held his card out to Eridan. Eridan greedily grabbed the card, causing the driver to crack a smile.

“Thanks, uh, Dick Stroodle-?” Eridan looked up questioningly. The driver snatched the card back,

“Damn that adorkable little shit… It’s Dirk Strider and no prob, man.” Dirk nodded his head and handed back the card. “Now shoo, I want to get home so I can watch my Housewives of Atlanta with my Boo-thing.” Eridan departed the bus chuckling despite the heavy heart he held. It was nice to know that someone’s love-life was a hell lot more screwed up than his own. Upon reaching his extravagant house, Eridan threw his coat and scarf carelessly at the coat rack and strode into his living area. Plopping himself down on his couch, Eridan picked up his remote to flip through channels.

“Catfish-?” He murmured curious, clicking on the channel. Eridan fell asleep an hour of Catfish later and would wake up with a fucked up idea in mind.


	2. Eridan Makes a Mailman's Day and Ruins Dirk's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: The Mailman

 

The sound of impatient rapping awoke Eridan in the dreary, overcast morning, better than waking to a Ben & Jerry's colony but it was still a bad wake up call for the heavyhearted boy. Eridan stomped his way to the door, cranky and muttering obscenities to the impatient knocker. Throwing the door open, mid-tantrum, Eridan barked out a friendly,

“W-what the ev-ver lov-ving _fuck?!_ ” Or not so friendly, either way it earned him a pair of dark brown eyes glaring at him from a foot below his own.

“The fucking mail you fuckass.” The short, angry man shoved a box into the taller, cranky boy’s arms. Next came the clipboard for a signature to Eridan’s gut. Eridan growled at the clipboard, too intimidated to growl at the mailman; he probably had a lot of pent up anger because he worked as a mailman. After he was done swirling his letters in what he thought was an ‘elegant’ way, he threw the clipboard back to Strawberry Shitcake, as Eridan had so wittily named him. Strawberry snatched the clipboard back, glancing at the name,

“Wait, Eridan, right?” Shitcake questioned, but it sounded more like an accusation to Eridan.

“Yeah-?”

“My friend, John, mentioned that you and Dirk had talked the other day…” Shitcake rose an eyebrow when Eridan flinched, remembering the first topic they'd discussed. Instead of talking about his break up, he did something that no bro should do to another bro,

“Yeah he told me about his ‘situation’ with John…” Shitcake’s eyes widened, mouth twitching. Before he could utter a protest, Eridan was being dragged by the elbow back into his house. Shutting the door, Shitcake quickly grabbed Eridan by the elbows. Eridan’s package hit the floor forgotten and unwanted.

“What did Dirk say about his ‘situation’ with John?” Eridan was taken aback; he took a second to respond,

“W-well he mentioned how-w shitty it w-was that John w-was acting as a replacement for his cousin…”

Shitcake growled out, “Anything else-?!”

“W-well if you w-would let go of me…!” Shitcake released his clawed grip on Eridan’s elbows.

“Okay, okay, now tell me, asshole!”

“Fine! He also said something about gaining from John’s presence also because Dave’s been gone…” Eridan rushed out without thinking, still in his morning state of crankiness and words that had only been halfway thought out. It was silent for a moment before Shitcake yelled,

“That shitfaced, fucking dick!” Shitcake continued his yelling to the door.

“W-wait, what’s your name?” Eridan called, lazily.

“To report me-? I hope you do! I hate my fucking shit job…” Most likely he was adding,

‘It could be just like one of my rom-coms…’ in his head. Shitface leveled Eridan with a glare turned down a few notches.

“My name is Karkat, but a moron like you shouldn’t be able to be trusted with something as amazing as my fucking name, but oh-fucking-well. Have a nice night, _sir_.” Karkat called out sarcastically before slamming the door.

Eridan stood looking at the door as if it could help explain just _what the fuck_ just went down.

“Ugh…” Eridan crumbled, slouching his way back to his nest in the couch with a headache. It didn’t take long for heartbreak to grab at Eridan’s chest once more. The next hour found the boy curled in on himself as ‘Jake and the Neverland Pirates’ played on his TV as steady rain poured outside like a second breakup.

He was never more grateful than then that he didn’t have to work for his money, what with his father and older brother being the tycoons they were and supplying Eridan with a place to stay and a sky high allowance till his twenty-first birthday. Twenty-first because they hoped he’d have grown up by then and ready to enter the family business of screwing people over and then having a few drinks to laugh about it.

‘Only three more years to grow up, Eridan.’ A voice, that sounded oddly enough like his asshole of a brother, chided in the back of his head.

“Shut up.” He growled into the empty room.

Another hour of moping over anything but _her_ , and Eridan was running low on things to focus on. Without many friends, he dug through his pants pocket for Dirk’s card.

…

It only took one ring before,

“John-?!” Dirk’s voice croaked out.

“Oh, no, this is Eridan, is this a bad time-?”

“No!” Eridan flinched, what was wrong with Dirk…? “Please don’t hang up…”

“W-well, uh, w-what’s w-wrong?” Eridan tried.

“John…”

“W-what’s w-wrong w-with John?”

“He, uh… Actually, do you think I could come over, bro?” Dirk rushed out, voice becoming raspier by the second.

“Yeah, do you need me to pick you up or do you w-want my address?”

“I just need your address, man.” Dirk tried to chuckle but it fell flat.

…

Eridan took the time to tidy his living room up and change his clothes, seeing as he was still wearing the same pair as yesterday and Dirk would be able to notice. Coming back down in the purple and black pinstripe pants and purple button-up he’d ceased wearing after tenth grade because he’d since tried to impress his dad and brother by dressing in suits and business-like attire. It didn’t fool them so why not?

When it began to thunder an hour later, Eridan began to worry. Eridan began to pace in front of his door, glancing out the windows in quick intervals.  After about ten minutes, Eridan made his way into his kitchen to make himself some tea, figuring Dirk had decided not to come or got caught up in something else. No sooner had Eridan placed the kettle on his stove did his front door receive the second heavy assault of that day.

Eridan rushed from the kitchen to hurry his first guest in months, inside. Dirk allowed his soaked body to be dragged into the nearest bathroom to dry off.

Most likely because, he didn’t even seem to register where he actually was.

“Dirk?” Eridan tried after he was done drying the blonde with a towel.

Papping his face faster and harder each second Dirk didn’t answer, eventually Eridan ended up slapping the dazed blonde’s shades right off his face.

Dirk lowered his gaze to his glasses in still silence before suddenly lunging at Eridan. Eridan, not expecting the assault, only looked up into furious orange eyes from the tiled bathroom floor.

“W-what the-!”

“Shut up! What the fuck is what _I’m_ supposed to ask!” Dirk hissed.

“W-what did I-?”

“You know _damn_ well what you did!”

“No! I really don’t, Dirk!”

“You told Karkat a twisted version of what I said about my relationship with John!” Dirk yelled to the baffled boy. Eridan stayed wide-eyed and rigid under Dirk.  

“Yeah-! And now John’s left me, thinking he was nothing more to me than a stupid stand in for, not one but,  _two_ people and that our relationship was nothing more than him pretending to be something he’s not!”

“W-wh…” Dirk remained glaring down Eridan, daring him to say something. Eridan shook off the glare, “No I didn’t! I told him that you thought it was messed up that John was-“ Dirk’s glare increased as Eridan became more aware of his words from before.

“Oh shit…” Eridan now understood why Karkat must have been ecstatic to hear all that Eridan’s tired brain had to spew out from the previous day’s conversation.

“Yeah, ‘ _oh shit_ ’, what the fuck is wrong with you, man!?” Dirk’s arms began to shake on either side of Eridan’s head. Eridan brought his hands up to cover his eyes in shame and let out a tired groan.

“I didn’t mean any of it like that, Dirk! Karkat w-was shaking me down for information and after a flipping breakup and being w-woken up by a guy like Karkat, I w-was just so mad and frustrated-!” Dirk let out an exhausted breath, shaking his head. He stood, reaching down to help Eridan up.

“No matter how much I want to punch you in the fucking mouth right now…” Dirk started, eyeing Eridan with a tired look, “I also realize how fucked up you gotta be right now.” They both eyed the other warily for a moment, neither knowing what to say to the other. Eventually Eridan crumbled first,

“I’m really sorry…”

“Nothin’ much that’s gonna do.” Dirk sighed. “But thanks anyways…” Eridan nodded, going for a pat on the back before halting halfway.

“Uh, let’s go sit down, maybe w-we can come up with an explanation for John…” Eridan lightly turned Dirk to follow him.

“Yeah… Let’s not for now, bro.”

Eridan poured two cups of tea, sitting with Dirk on his kitchen counter. They sat in silence, both trying to focus on how the steam from their tea warmed their faces rather than the countless heartbreaks they would and had encountered. The rain seemed to pour down harder, pulling the hearts of the boys down with it.

“W-why us…?” Eridan asked slowly. “W-why not other people-?” Dirk looked over to Eridan brows furrowed.

“I wouldn’t know, man.”

Something clicked in the back of Eridan’s head, recalling something he’d pictured as a form of justice in his state of mind.

“…Catfishing…” Eridan mumbled thoughtfully, leaning his back against the cabinets.

“What was that, bro?” Dirk frowned, hoping he hadn’t heard what he had.

“Catfishing. Do you know-w w-what that is?” Eridan asked, eyes drooping. With a yawn, Eridan added, “W-we should try it…” With Eridan’s eyes closed, he wasn’t able to see how Dirk shook his head.

…

Eridan didn’t remember falling asleep on the couch again, or turning on ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, but seeing the remote in Dirk’s pale hand from his spot on the floor, Eridan would have to guess it was all Dirk’s doing.

'Now where's my laptop...?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all who reviewed and left Kudos! Waking up to that just made my day and now it's like 7:14 am and I'm typing away! Probably not a good idea, but since I have spell check... ;P Thank you so much, your reviews helped a lot! And don't worry the story's just about ready to pick up I needed to screw up one more person's life before really beginning the story! Yup... because I'm a bitch like that. (And now it's 10:40 am XD) Who else sees that Dirk made an actual assessment of his relationship with John-? Oh, no my dears, that was EXACTLY what their relationship was... The question is did Dirk get a little attached to John and wasn't ready to let him go so soon after a breakup...? Probably...


	3. John, You Asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which John can't sleep and in which Karkat is daring.  
> A.K.A. JohnKat fluff

The alarm clock read, in blaring red letters, 1:36 am.

A bucktoothed, messy haired boy of sixteen turned to sigh at the clock, defeated and helpless as sleep refused to claim him. Maybe it was because the palate his friend had set up in front of the TV for the both of them was practically suffocating. Maybe it was due to the hours of movies they’d watched and his mind hadn’t settled down just quite yet. Or maybe it was the fact that he felt like utter shit. Shit because he wasn’t able to be good enough for someone. Utter, because he tried to stand in for two people for that person and just pissed them off to the point they were telling anybody they could find to listen.

‘No. Shut up, John. You pretended to be his ex in order to comfort him; you didn’t actually become his boyfriend.’ John sighed, knowing it was the truth.

‘Then why are you so hung up about it?’

A loud snort caused the bucktoothed wonder to jolt. Glancing over at the cause of the sound, the boy smiled, wanting to laugh but still not quite able to. Instead of staring at the clock all night, or morning in this case, the boy propped himself up by one arm to look over his friend.

It was eerie; his friend was always shouting, cursing, or growling the day away, but right here and right now his friend looked to be a kind, loving man. Not that the boy didn’t think of his friend as such already. Long, slender fingers drifted their way to feel the sleeping man’s hair, testing the waters, before running his fingers through the thick locks gently. Feeling calmer by the moment, the boy’s eyes slowly slipped down into closure. That is until a warm palm against his cheek startled him back into consciousness.

“John…” His friend muttered, voice hoarse from the constant abuse it was put through throughout the day. The boy smiled slightly and lent into the hand,

“Thanks, Karkat…” John whispered, patting the hand at his cheek. John wasn’t usually so affectionate to others physically, but people like Karkat made it seem so less awkward and not so threatening to your ‘preference’ in men or women.

“Don’t thank me…” Karkat croaked. John looked at his friend’s furrowed brow, almost not seen due to the amount of light in the room. Karkat sat up, refusing to meet John’s eyes, settling to stare at his hands instead.

“Kar...” John tried to gain a response after a minute of the silence. When John gained no response, he shoved Karkat's shouler lightly, and tried once more.

“Karkat.” Silence. John opened his mouth, getting ready to yell to his unresponsive friend.

“John.” Karkat replied, head still tilted down to stare at his hands. John felt anger ebb at him.

“Karkat, look at me!” John’s voice rose, losing his patience by the second. Karkat seemed to snap too, because the next thing the blue-eyed boy knew, he was grabbed by the front of the shirt and snapped forward to clash his forehead with Karkat’s.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, John?!” Karkat barked into the other’s face, leaving his implied subject unsaid. John was readying to bark back at Karkat when,

“ _What-?! Are_ you… crying, Kar?” John reached to pull Karkat’s face close to his own, inspecting the wetness streaked from sharp brown eyes.

“ _John_ -“ Karkat attempted to growl, voice breaking.

“Shut up, dummy.” John interrupted, moving his thumbs to hold Karkat’s mouth. Karkat froze, heart leaping into his throat. Karkat closed his eyes, enjoying the touch from his long-time crush. The reason he’d never accepted offers from any suitor, man or woman, Adonis or hobo, it was only John.

John felt a smile tug at his mouth, feeling like doing nothing but coo at his friend, hold him till he felt better to see his smile, cuddle him just to watch his friend become self-conscious and overwhelmed at the same time, pull him close till he felt Karkat grip back…

‘Oh…’ John’s smile slipped, ‘Does this mean I…?’ One look to Karkat’s content face told him his answer.

Karkat let a gust of air leave him, deciding it was time to return to reality. His eyes slowly opened,

‘Was John this close before?! Wait, his eyes are closed-! Maybe he fell asleep and is falling forward because his dumbass can’t lie down to fall asleep-? Oh shit.’ A warm mouth lightly touched Karkat’s… cheek?

“I don’t think so, fuckass.” Karkat growled out, taking hold of John’s, much abused and stretched, shirt. John’s eyes snapped open, prepared to laugh it off and make a joke about kissing Karkat's cheek… Or he would have, if his mouth wasn’t suddenly being crushed to another mouth. Another really _warm_ mouth, a bit rough, but he found he didn't mind. John smiled out of the giddiness that seemed to be crushing his ribs and moved closer, his hands covering Karkat’s, and enjoying the feel of being wanted back.

Karkat’s brain finally shut the fuck up, allowing him to savor the moment he’d thought would never come. John’s lips felt chapped, but like hell did he care, at least he could say what they _felt_ like. It was too soon for Karkat when it ended.

“How long…?” An out-of-breath voice asked.

“Since you were in 7th grade.” Left Karkat's mouth within seconds, not much thought put to them by now; it being a four year crush.

“But weren’t you in-“

“9th, yes I know, Egbert, I’m the one who fucking lived it.”

“But I’m wondering how you knew-“

“Bus.”

“Oh.” They fell silent, searching the other’s expression for sign of fault. Karkat chuckled ironically while shaking his pounding head, breaking the tension.

“Something tells me we should save the questions for later. I just want to enjoy the moment while it lasts until…“

“Until…?”

“Nothing, you dick, I want to get some sleep so I’ll actually be able to function in the morning.” Karkat half-heartedly growled, lying down once more.

John felt hesitant to let it go that quickly, but upon the mention of sleep he felt his eyes grow heavy, all traces of the insomnia he’d battled with not yet thirty minutes ago, gone. With a submissive sigh, John submersed himself in the nest, falling to sleep almost instantly as he curled up to Karkat’s side.

Karkat didn’t want to go to sleep. He didn’t want to lose the John that hadn’t yet remembered the other man.

The man who didn’t know John like he did. The man who didn’t deserve to have a say over part of John’s heart after a week. Karkat let his arm hang over John’s shoulder limply. 

‘ _Damnit, John_. Now I defiantly won’t be able to get over you, you _asshole_.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Well! A bit of JohnKat! I meant to update yesterday but with family over it's been hard to have an Internet life... So after I get my hurr done today, I'll get working on the next chapter! Which should be an easier one to get out. Coming in the next chapter: the lisping, douchelord or the Intergoogles!  
> Also, if you guys have criticisms on my work, feel free to mention them to me! Because nobody's a bigger critic than yourself and I do notice many faults while writing such as my inability to lead up to the action in my writing, or how I tend to be scatterbrained... =_= I could go on all day people, but please, any suggestions would be most welcome seeing as this is my first multi-chapter fanfiction! Thank you for reviewing and putting Kudos on my work, it gives me motivation to dive into the next chapter! :)

**Author's Note:**

> (I got the idea from watching 'Catfish: The TV Show' if you haven't seen or know what it means-it's basically where people create or take a false identity and create an online relationship... Or you can look it up...)  
> Hey guys, I'm new to the site and testing out the ropes so once I get the hang of it I promise to put up more tags, a better summary, and better plot development! So please hang in there! Any suggestions or helpful advice would be greatly appreciated!


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